Monday, April 7, 2014

A Season For Everything

On by Naypong
I've never been one to sit around and stew for very long. I am a fixer. If it's messed up, I immediately scramble for a solution. If it's a "no" and I want a "yes" I begin to contemplate scenarios to work toward a change. Maybe one would call me a go-getter...or a spoiled brat (cringe). Sometimes it's a good trait and sometimes it's a bad trait. Just depends on the situation.
Lately though, I have stumbled into situations where the "fixability" is just not so obvious...the quick solution is just out of the question. I have felt broken (click here for my personal post on this).
Whether it be a slew of rejections on the book of my heart with less and less hope for a "yes", or a broken relationship where time is the only medicine, I am starting to realize the importance of a season versus a momentary lapse.
On by Grant Cochrane
I would rather throw a fit, move forward, and slap a huge happy band-aid on my struggles. It's worked before. A new contest to enter, a new book proposal to whip up, an apology, a change of scenery...

But what happens when those things just don't cut it? When the future...while glimmering with hope in the distance...just isn't all that pretty in the up-close? When the writing doesn't come, the desire is as parched as a dried up inkwell, and chaos is frantically buzzing around?

If you are anything like me, I don't give myself a chance to just mourn the situation. I feel lesser and selfish when I do. I want to pick myself up by the bootstraps (pardon my cliche...not shooting for a polished contest entry) and brush it off and prove that I am strong, mature, and following God's wisdom. It's a good attitude to have right? But it doesn't always just has me walk away from one mess and straight into the next one. It's like cramming for a test and forgetting the knowledge as soon as you put your pencil down.

You don't learn a darn thing.

I'll admit, that lately, I have given myself time to mourn...personal stuff and writing stuff. I have sat here and felt like a wilted flower that, no matter how my friends and my God try to lift me up to standing, I have no will to look toward the sun or receive refreshment. I have wallowed, I have cried, and I have done absolutely nothing to change the pace.

On by Serge Bertasius Photography
You know what though? I needed that rest. It didn't look pretty, and it certainly felt stagnant, but it gave me the chance to weep when I needed too, to flesh out all the horrid thoughts and regrets, and to remember I am nothing...without Christ.

 I just need to give myself time. And not always try to push through. I need to be still in the season and know God will work. His word is clear:

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:...a time to weep and a time to laugh,  a time to mourn and a time to dance..." Ecclesiastes 3:1,4

There is a season for everything. Why do I always hope for Spring when Winter must run its course first?

Angie Dicken first began writing fiction as a creative outlet during the monotonous, mothering days of diapers and temper tantrums. She is passionate to impress God's love on women regardless of their background or belief. This desire serves as a catalyst for Angie's fiction, which weaves salvation and grace themes across historical cultures and social boundaries. Angie is an ACFW member and is represented by Tamela Hancock Murray of the Steve Laube Agency.


Unknown said...

This is really a beautiful post, Angie. I think a lot of times in hindsight I can look back on winter seasons and see the way God was working, preparing for me the spring season. I'd like to get better at actually seeing those things when I'm in the midst of the winter! But it can be hard to do when those metaphorical blizzards are swirling around you. Thanks for the transparency and encouragement in your post today!

Jeanne Takenaka said...

Angie, what a beautiful post. There are times when waiting, rather than acting, are the best course forward. But, OH it's hard. I'm a do-er, like you are. And to do nothing—it almost feels sinful sometimes. But sometimes, it's what's needed. When we are still, that's when Jesus can come in, clean up our messy hearts, thoughts, and reveal more of who He is to us as He works healing and restoration.

I'm sorry it's been a difficult season for you. Thank goodness seasons do change.

Thanks for your transparency.

Angie Dicken said...

So true, Melissa! Those blizzards make it especially difficult! Thanks for stopping by!

Angie Dicken said...

You are so sweet, Jeanne! Thankfully, I feel like Spring is upon's been a tough winter though, in many ways!! Hope you are enjoying some sunshine yourself!

Karen @ a house full of sunshine said...

Angie, I so feel for you in your struggles lately. Thanks for such an honest and open post. I totally agree - sometimes the last thing you want or need is to pull yourself up by the bootstraps and carry on. Sometimes you just need to grieve, and let yourself feel. I'm sorry you're in such a hard season, and I'm praying for you often. May God give you beauty for ashes and the oil of joy for mourning. Love you, friend!