Wednesday, March 4, 2015

How an Epic Fail Can Be A Slinky of Goodness

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Any rejection: a word, a look, a letter, or an action digs into our hearts like a dagger. The hardest armadillo shell can be penetrated with one slit. 

Epic fail.

This is the moment when we must choose to heal or allow infection to take us down.

I can empathize with any of you. I have seen rejections, and I've been sprinkled with the occasional compliment. And like you, the punch of a rejection can hold me down longer than a compliment will raise me up. I'd much prefer to be like a slinky or super ball, forever bouncing back up, but this is NOT an easy job.

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So what can we do about it?

First of all, choose to be healed. (There won't be a second in today's post because allowing a rejection infection to take us down will not be an option).

Let's look at the different forms of medicine available to put the spring back in our writing spirits.

1.  The Balm- [def according to anything that heals, soothes, or mitigates pain]

At any moment a negative thought about writing pops in your head, apply music that makes you want to dance, look at photos of people you love, watch a HAPPY chic flick, go for a walk, call your friends-NOT TO LAMENT but to hear something positive, hug ANYTHING (this includes hubby, kids, pets--probably not goldfish, stuffed animals, etc). 

2.  The Injection- [def according to used for medicinal purposes]

Can you feel the sting? Yes. This is the rejection. The one filled with corrections, red, new places to start the story, changes for the title, names of character, need more this--less of that, etc. 

Photo by Mary Vee
Being a writer requires sensitivity. We all desire to write, sell our books, and have readers enjoy/rave about our stories or articles, However, if we become locked in to our own ideas despite the marketing numbers, we fail to provide the very product readers yearn to have.

Yes, we should write the story in our heart.

Yes, we should write what we know.

But like salt and sugar these are essential ingredients to an overall product. They do not stand alone. 

Even a book written just for you deserves to be written with the utmost quality. You are special, too!

The good news about an injection is the sting WILL go away.

3.  The tablet/capsule- [def according to a small globular or rounded mass of medicinal substance, usually covered with a hard coating, that is to be swallowed whole.]

The hard coating is our help. It comes in the form of prayers, friends smiles, hugs, kind words, etc. This will not take away the nasty tasting medicine that is to follow, but will prepare our hearts and give us strength to endure what is to come. 

Typically, a fluid is used to aid the tablet/capsule consumption. Jesus is our living water. He doesn't take away the pain, but He will ease the moment. Talk to Him. He is there beside you, holding you up.

4.  Therapy-[def according to an act, hobby, task, program, etc., that relieves tension]  

a. Did you know that it takes a spark of happy to write something happy? Name a person who means a lot to you. Good. Now--yes, I am bringing a medieval idea here to the page--hand write that person an encouraging note. Or share, in handwriting, some good news with the person. Ooooo this is tough, right? I know. Coming up with any positive words is like squeezing water from a dust devil, because we only want to be miserable right now. Trust me, no pain, no gain. The easy part will be to send the note once you've rewritten it without the scratched words. 

b. Run a mile. A whole mile? Yep. Run? Okay, you can jog or even walk briskly. Get the air bursting into your lungs to cleanse the hurt. You are gonna feel so good!

c. Read the comments in the crit, judge's remarks, editor's notes-ONE AT A TIME. Chew on their thoughts. Look at your copy. Consider the intended lesson, not the color of the type. Can you fix, change, reword your work to address the issue? If your spirit is spent after addressing this first thought, set the crit aside and do number 1 above. If you have been inspired by the change, go to the next remark on the page.

d. If you ever need a place to be encouraged, prayed for, given kudos for any size accomplishment come here to the Writer's Alley. We are bursting with cyber hugs, smiles, and all around encouragements, because we have all been in your shoes. Some, like me, still are :)

How can we get the slinky of goodness moving today? Do you have a need? A prayer request? A praise you'r bursting to share?


If you found any typos in today's post...sorry about that. 

Mary has moved to Michigan with her husband, closer to her three college kids. She misses the mountains of Montana, but loves seeing family more often. She writes young adult mystery/adventure Christian fiction, is honing marketing and writing skills, and loves to pen missionary and Bible adventure stories on her ministry blog, God Loves Kids.

Visit Mary at her website and her ministry blog to families: God Loves Kids. Or chat on Facebook or Twitter


Krista Phillips said...

Such good tips, sweet Mary!! Rejection is HARD, but a thick skin and the proper "medicine" is super important to not dwell in it and, instead, learn from it and be BETTER for it even.

kaybee said...

It DOES cut, doesn't it? Sometimes it hurts me to the core and I wonder if I should be doing this. Then God reins me in and reminds me I should do it until He tells me to stop. Which He hasn't yet, or I wouldn't be blogging with you. I keep an Encouragement file on my computer and go to it whenever I feel down. My skin is also thickening as I learn to discern when a critique or contest judge is right, when I should TRY what they suggested, and when to gently leave it behind. My husband is an ordained minister in our denomination and he often remembers what an old pastor told him starting out, "Be certain of your call. Sometimes it's all you'll have to hang on to." Or words to that effect.
Kathy Bailey

Mary Vee Writer said...

So true. God is the one who is our great cheerleader. He doesn't "fix" our problems. He helps us endure and learn from them. Thanks, Krista. Love yah.

Mary Vee Writer said...

i love LOVE your hubby, the minister's words: "Be certain of your call. Sometimes it's all you'll have to hang on to." Great words and similar to the movie quote "Never surrender, never give up."

I also love the encouragement file. I've heard some people keep a rejection file. I did that once, and found the encouragement file a greater blessing. Learning from our mistakes is important, and crits from others is crucial, but those encouraging words sure go a long way to spur us on.