While I’ve been a writer for a few years now, I’m just getting my feet wet with this whole “author” business. I love playing with ideas for cover designs, or nit-picking over the right words for the back-cover blurb, pouring out my heartfelt thanks in the acknowledgment of all who have helped me realize my dream, and waxing poetic in my very first “Note from the Author” like a love letter.
I go from being giddy to neurotic twelve times a day while I lovingly torture over it all, enrapt, obsessed, and terrified by the whole stressfully amazing process.
Yes, it's this super cool thing to be publishing a book! But I will say there are a few things that are admittedly awkward along the way. And honestly, I’ve heard from author pals that there will be more awkward things to come as my book baby takes its first bold steps out into a world more than likely determined to knock it town and tear it apart for any and every reason from a typo to character flaw.
So I figured I’d start a list of all the painfully awkward things an author will likely endure over the course of their writing career, you know, to commiserate… for funsies. :) Here goes!
-countless rejections (don’t worry, eventually someone won’t hate you)
-awful agent/editor interviews (umm, *tap tap* is this thing on?)
-fumbling a pitch or drawing a blank (err, can I do that over?)
-harsh critiques (hurts so good)
-when you get caught researching/people watching, i.e. eavesdropping. (hey, that’s good material! and you're in public so it's fair game)
-when you get caught daydreaming in storyland (oh, hello real world… are you still here?)
-people telling you they hate your heroine (well, fine, she doesn’t like you either :p)
-bumbling public speaking events (hello, all you naked people. Do you, umm, like books?)
-when you forget you’re around “normals” and start speaking about your characters like they’re real people (oh, and then Archer said the funniest thing! I just love a man with a sense of humor! Amy, who’s Archer? I thought your husband’s name was Rick?)
-underattended book signings/release parties (but all the cool kids are coming)
-having to shamelessly and relentlessly promote your own product (wanna buy my book? It’s really good!)
-not so subtly asking/begging for reviews (only if you liked it)
-asking friends to pretty please have you guest post on their blog/share your posts (if it’s not too much trouble, could you click that pesky share button?)
-getting publicly shredded on amazon in your reviews (but but but… did they even read the same book? Gah!!!)
-reaching out to author friends for endorsements (do you think, you might maybe, be willing to, umm, err… you know?)
-reaching out to author friends who are too busy to give you an endorsement (oh, no, it’s totally cool. I know you’re like really busy writing your next bestseller)
-asking for an endorsement from someone who ends up not liking your book (yeahhhhh, nevermind.)
-waiting to see what your friends think of your book and then conveniently never hearing back (So, uh, how’s the reading coming…?)
Alright, join in the fun! Can you think of anything to add to this list? Or do you have a funny anecdote of an embarrassing writer moment.
Happy Friday! Happy reading, editing, plotting, dreaming, and writing. WRITE ON!
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Amy Leigh Simpson is the completely exhausted stay-at-home mama to the two wild-child, tow-headed toddler boys, one pretty little princess baby, and the incredibly blessed wife of her hunky hubby.
She writes Romantic Suspense chalked full of grace that is equally inspiring, nail-biting, and hilarious. And a little saucy! Okay fine, a lot saucy. :) She is a member of ACFW, and now uses her Sports Medicine degree to patch up daily boo-boos. Her greatest ambitions are to create stories that inspire hope, raise up her children to be mighty warriors for Christ, invent an all-dessert diet that works, and make up for years of sleep deprivation.
Look for her debut novel due out this fall with WildBlue Press!